5 Things To Do When You Don't Feel "Enough"
I suppose it's physics...what goes up must come down, right? After the joy of turning 30 and then the amazing high of being nominated let alone winning a CIMPA award for Rising Star Of The Year, July has hit with a thud!The past week I've felt panicky, low, over-sensitive and full of self-doubt; perhaps from this self-induced pressure to have all the answers! Anyone else with me on this one? Truth be told it's been rough.
For those of us who've struggled with feeling "not enough", it's a lonely place to be. The fear and shame of failure, the analysis paralysis where no decision, action or thought is "good enough", can be both addictive and debilitating.
Although I believe I am a fairly positive person, in the past couple of years I've realised I've spent decades motivating myself through the paradigm of "not being good enough" in the pursuit of perfection. Successes never felt truly rewarding as I'd punish myself with thoughts like "If you'd only done X it could have been better..." or "Why aren't you as good as Y, he/she is much better than you..." or "Remember that hurtful thing Z said about you, that's proof you're not good enough..." or "This isn't working out because you're not good enough".
Wow, even writing those down feels hurtful and yet I could easily throw these thoughts at myself many times a day! It's no surprise to say living with the feeling of "not being good enough" is not a great place to operate from and I've been working hard to shift it.
Here are some steps I've been taking to help change my mindset to build on more positive, grateful and self-loving thoughts every day.
1. MOVE YOUR BODY
When you're in a spiral of self-doubt, I find moving my body really helps to distract my mind and focus on the present. Put some uplifting songs on and dance in the kitchen (SoundCloud or Spotify playlists for the win), put on a yoga stretch sequence (like this one) or go to your gym and get a pump on (these amazing YouTube motivational speeches really help me).
2. GET OUTSIDE
Since working with the fabulous James Murray to help my tummy (more on that to come), I have renewed my love for being outside. James, and many others, can't stress enough about the importance of being in the sunlight (especially, first thing in the morning) and we're lucky to have almost unlimited sunshine. Take a walk, sit outside and read or do your stretching in the sun - it's really hard to be negative, mad or ungrateful when the warm sun is on your face. I particularly love walking to the ocean. The waves lapping, sunshine on my back and wildlife around me really help to shift my mindset and allow me to soften into self-love and gratitude.
If you're feeling down, overwhelmed or lost it can feel weird to sit down and focus on that but by journalling down all your thoughts they can be released from your mind more easily. My good friend and Lustic Life crew member Bea reminded me of this yesterday and I grabbed the nearest pad and just scribbled everything I'd been brewing on. I used to make a habit of doing this each morning and since stopping, it's amazing how quickly the thoughts can build up. Take 10 mins every morning to scribble down your thoughts - the good, bad and ugly - then write out 10 affirmations eg:
I am strong
I am capable
I am powerful
I am happy
I am driven
I am grateful
I am loving
I am positive
I am present
I am enough
4. NOURISH DON'T PUNISH
When you're not feeling yourself, it can be hard to show yourself love. This is exactly what you need! Write a list of positive ways you can nourish yourself and keep this handy for moments of need. I like to: go for a swim, read a good book, eat some fruit, do something good for someone else, cuddle with my cat, go do a workout, take a long bath, put some essential oils in the diffuser, get a hug from someone.
5. HANG OUT WITH LOVED ONES
Working from home has had its challenges (a post on this is definitely on the list) so I've had to make a bigger effort to hang out with loved ones. When you're not feeling your A-game, it can be easier to go into hermit mode, hideaway and dwell on your emotions, but this doesn't help to shift your mindset. Instead, schedule a coffee date, go to the cinema, buy a friend lunch or go grab a cocktail at happy hour. We all need regular human interaction, and the connection and contact from a close friend or loved one can be the pick me up your soul needs.
Don't be scared or too proud to reach out in your moment of need. Your friends and family are there for you, as am I!
Today and every day, just remember...